Thu Sep 15, 2005
Common Mommy Questions
Q. My 2 year old son likes to hug. He hugs random strangers, waiters and even cashiers at the grocery store. I'm worried that one day he will hug the wrong child and upset them. What should I do?
A. I think it is wonderful that your son has learned a compassionate gesture of friendship. Of course he doesn't realize that some people are uncomfortable with hugging. My daughter behaved very similar. First we acknowledged the positive part of her actions and how nice it was to care for someone. We then explained in two year old language that it was very,
very important that she ask the person if it would be okay to hug them first. We also encouraged her to shake hands as an alternative form of affection.
Q. My daughter is 10 months old; I would like suggestions on how to teach her table manners now and as she grows older.
A. It's never too young to start! My parents thought I was crazy when they heard me saying "please" and "thank you" when I would give my 9 month old daughter her meal. Before I handed her a toy I would also say "please." I wanted her to associate those phrases with someone handing her something. Sure enough, one of her first words was please! When she was around 2 to 3 years old I started to explain cause and effect to her and how happy it made others when she thanked them.
As she gets older, routines will also be an excellent method to teach table manners. Toddlers respond well to repetition and feel comfortable with it. Before every meal you can have them wash their hands with you. You can also make it routine that they help clear toys off of the table before you sit down for dinner or put out place mats. Teach them how to use a napkin and perhaps they can put their empty plate by the sink after every meal. When my daughter would scream at the table, I would address her behavior immediately. As soon as she stopped screaming, even if she was sulking- I would lavish her with praise for stopping the inappropriate behavior. I think it's also important to explain to your child how you they are expected to behave during dinner or at a restaurant. After an outing, praise them for their positive actions before addressing the negative behaviors.
Q. My daughter is 5 and going through the "question box" phase. She asks me a million questions about the tiniest object. Sometimes I don't even know the answer. What do I do?
A. Children love to learn and in the course of this learning, they ask questions- lots and lots and LOTS of questions! When my four year old went through this phase I often felt overwhelmed with the questions that just became more and more insistent. I found that a great way to teach her and to take the pressure off of myself was to turn the questioning back to her. For example, she would inquire, "Mom, why is that dog barking?" and I would ask back, "I'm not sure Hannah, why do YOU think the dog is barking?" It was a great way to teach her that sometimes she needs to find the answer for herself.
Article by Elana of FutureFashionista.com.
Elana is a Jewelry Designer and creator of FutureFashionista.com. She is also the mother of a 3 year old and a 5 year old.
